Posted 10:33 AM by Steve
AH, it was a touch of the flu and a touch of the pub on holiday never closing, nothing serious. I've just sent off tweaked versions of my pieces for use or discarding. Matt, site is brilliant. Liked your revised piece too.

Posted 1:59 AM by Steve
Hi, just thought I'd check in, back from holiday, recovered from various illnesses. Haven't had a chance to read the latest run through yet. There are a few bits I'd like to tweak throughout, but maybe it's time I just let go, I don't know. Anyways, I'm not sure whether the piece needs an intro on the web or not, Matt, your call. Maybe a link to the lemur homepage is all? I'll have one more read through and let you know.

Posted 4:29 AM by Steve
13 hours is about right if they fly across the UK, my geography is total whack but UK to Vancouver and to San Francisco is around ten hours, and to Spain is about three hours, so that makes 13 hours.

Posted 8:20 PM by Steve
Mine are off, sorry to be late, since it's quarter past two in the am here I'm off to bed, will read everybody elses pieces when I wake up in the morning.

The Three Dancers by Picasso: http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/portrait/story/0,11109,740306,00.html

Posted 7:29 PM by Steve
31. Although I still feel 28. I have that feeling I won't ever feel 31.

Re the European domestics and Tom, I have to check but I think I'd written into the text that Tom served in the Balkan wars
, although I confused Kosovo and the Croatian conflicts, so I'm not sure where and when that takes place, storywise. I'd written it with Croatia in mind but happening at the time of the Kosovan action, as my memory conflated the two and compressed them into a neater timeframe than they actually happened in. I think that means I muddied it even more.

Ah, here, from part 10, " The war years had taught him that, the months at the front"... it then goes on to nickj a few details from Sacco's graphic novel on the action that I've forgotten the damn name of, not fax from Sarajevo, Safe area Goradze.

Posted 4:09 PM by Steve
Yeah, I'm here, I'm late though, sorry, give me a few hours or so. Real sorry. It was my birthday last week and I got taken away by surprise so life's a bit rushed at the minute.

Posted 1:51 AM by Steve
Yeah, good luck with the thesis Tyler.

Matt, I wouldn't worry overly about the rayguns, I think my nanotech was pretty unbalancing when I look through it all.

As for the denouement, I guess then I'd like to scoop up parts 1, 2 and 3.

Posted 1:42 AM by Steve
I'm in for another go round. Matt, I'm with Amy, Pauline's yours.

Posted 2:07 AM by Steve
I think I've got to agree with Amy regarding the pulling in all directions, although I do take the point that it's fun, to me it doesn't serve the story well. I've been wondering if the story needs to be thrashed out a fair bit more, like your rules, but perhaps a bit more in depth. The problem then is whether each writer is given a free hand. I think if a rough outline can be agreed upon before hand it might work better, but also perhaps discussion between turns, with perhaps longer turnaround, so that the writer on the ball can get thoughts.

I think there needs to be an idea of what would overbalance or disrupt the story, which is what I think your rules were intended to instill. Looking at the story, I can't help but think if it hasn't veered wildly from the original premise.

Matt, I guess I got the feeling I got from Pauline was that she didn't fit the story. I can see where she came from, the Prisoner riff, I guess it just didn't fit in with what I thought the story was, which again seems to point up the different pulls. But then I'm not actually comfortable enough to write fantastical fiction, it just doesn't sit well to me, I have trouble believing it/suspending my belief when I know I've written it.

I'll have to reread for the love talk, see how it sounds to my ear. Like I say, I'd rather people were brutal with my pieces so that I can develop. That's one of the things I'd hoped to get out of these round robins, to be honest.

Posted 3:12 PM by Steve
I kept trying to come up with some lever to get Claire and Tom to the museum. I figure if Tom goes, Claire will go, so my best thought was some sort of lever using Boris on Tom, Tom looking at Boris as what he could be and in rejecting that, choosing to do the right thing at the museum. I can't see Jon having any pull on Claire at the moment.

Amy: The lovey stuff I guess grew from the Romeo and Juliet link I saw, apologies if it didn't work, I was looking at it as them being at that age where falling in love is easy to do, not from the vantage point of myself. Of course, as Claire is based on yourself I guess it puts me in a weaker position. I do have a tendancy to romanticise, it comes from being an incurable romantic. I think I snuck in the first fluid swapping stuff.

I have to say I never quite got Pauline either, which is why I'm unclear where to go from here. I wouldn't neccasarily say Jon's an irredeemable bastard, but I see where you're coming from there. I looked at him as a detached figure, but a loving figure.

To me, I can't even see why Jon would be anywhere but in his lab. He seems to be someone who interacts little with the outside world.